Did you know that the term advocate comes from the Latin word advocare meaning to “add” a “voice”? To advocate is to add a voice of support or concern for a cause or a person. 

 

Parents who have a child with learning or attention issues need to “be that voice” in order to get the support their child needs to be successful. Ask yourself these questions: If your child was struggling with their vision, would you go to the optometrist and ask for an assessment to determine what they needed to see better? Would you get your child eyeglasses if they needed them to see the board or read a book? Would you make sure they had these glasses in school so they could see? When a parent advocates for their child with learning challenges such as dyslexia, they are ensuring they have the tools to learn effectively at school and home. Parents know their children better than anyone.  They know their strengths and weaknesses and are their voice when there is no other.

 

Below outlines some ways that parents can advocate for their child:

 

  1. Determine the issues – First, talk to your child.

Ask your child how school is going. Is he/she getting the accommodations and support he/she needs and are they working? Use this rating scale as a spring board for discussion to gain a sense of how your child may be feeling.  Parents can be great detectives. Keep in mind that mood and behavior are excellent indicators of how things might be going at school. If your child is happy on the weekend and moody and irritable during the week – school may be causing some stress.

 

Communicate with your child and ask questions:

  • What was the best part of the day?
  • If there is something you could change about school, what would it be? Why?
  • What do you like best about school?”
  • “What do you find easy at school? What do you find hard at school?”
  • Describe your “dream day” at school?

 

Use the information you have discovered as a framework to create an agenda. Set up a meeting with the school and use this agenda, ensuring you have solutions for any issues that you and your child have determined. For example,  your child communicates that he/she is stressed about not completing tests. You will use this information to ensure that  he/she gets extra time to complete their tests.

 

  1. Educate yourself and learn the terminology.

Educate yourself about your child’s learning challenges.  You can maximize time in your busy life by :

  • listening to podcasts on the way to work or while you are cooking or cleaning.

 

  • watching one video a week.

 

  • reading 10 minutes a day about dyslexia.

 

If you go into a school meeting with some background knowledge, you will feel empowered and demonstrate some knowledge and understanding.

Educating yourself will help you further understand the terminology that teachers and other professionals use during your meetings.

 

  1. Know your child’s rights.

Know your child’s and your legal rights. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) offers protections, known as procedural safeguards. Learn more HERE.

 

For more information, visit  the US. Department of Education’s Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) website. 

 

  1. Understand the IEP process and 504 Plan. Remember – you are a vital part of that process!

If your child has an IEP, keep a binder with all of the information. You are an equal and vital member of that team. If you do not agree with something, respectfully explain why. Do not become intimated or overly emotional.  Remember to set realistic goals. The following article is helpful to learn more about a 504 Plan: A 504 Plan for Those with Dyslexia

 

  1. Be solution orientated.

 

Too often, meetings can become clouded with emotion and focus on problems, without focusing on a solution. Be prepared with a list of solutions and goals to address the issue(s). 

Ask your child for solutions. Children often simplify things and can generate creative solutions to school issues. Having your child come up with these solutions is also an essential part of self-advocacy.

 

  1. Ask questions.

When talking to psychologists or educators, ask for clarification if you do not understand. Be sure you understand your child’s program plan and the accommodations before you give consent. If you have any questions or do not understand, do NOT be afraid to ask – this is part of the learning process. The more we ask for clarification, the more we learn! If you do not agree with something – communicate this with the school and find alternate solutions.

 

  1. Be prepared and organized for meetings

 

Be Prepared– Ensure that you arrive with an agenda and questions. Use your time wisely.  If you find a school member coming off track, redirect them kindly with: ” There are a few other questions I have that I need to address. Can we set up another meeting to talk about this?” Make sure to smile!

Be Organized– Keep copies of educational psych assessments, report cards, evaluations, medical records, writing samples, and meeting minutes in one book. An easy way to do this is to purchase a binder with plastic inserts where you can insert documents as needed. All IEP and 504 plans can also be kept in this binder. Keep this book in a safe place.

Creating a folder in your email system for school communication can help with easy access. Keep ALL electronic communication regarding your child and keep all requests and responses in writing.

 

  1. Demonstrate strong Social and Emotional Intelligence

 

How you present yourself physically, socially, and emotionally can leave a positive or negative impression. Follow some of the tips below:

 

  • Smile. Shake hands firmly and give direct eye contact.
  • Dress appropriately for the meeting. Whether we like it or not, poor grooming can leave a negative impression.
  • Use positive body language that conveys confidence and openness.
  • Be an active listener – Active listening means you are consciously listening to what the person is saying in order to fully understand.Repeating back what you have heard ensures that your speaker feels heard, and you comprehend what is being communicated.
  • Breathe and Smile – If you become agitated, you may lose focus and credibility. Before you set a meeting, have an agenda and keep to that agenda. When you find yourself coming off track, refer to your agenda to stay focused.

 

Strong Emotional Intelligence (EQ) trumps IQ! If you find yourself losing control or becoming tongue-tied try some neutralizing phrases recommended by Amanda Morin from Understood. com: “10 Defusing Phrases to use at IEP meetings.”

 

  1. Build Positive Relationships and set up “Follow Up” dates with the school

 

At times you may find that your child is not getting what they need at school.  We need to remember that teachers are responsible for many children.  The majority of teachers do their best with limited resources, pressed time, and their own personal skill-set. Seeing it this way, will less likely place blame. 

 

Adopting a mindset of a “working partnership” with the school will help create a better environment for your child. Positive parent-school relationships keep the lines of communication open and avoid the “us” against “them” mentality.

 

  • Get to know your child’s teachers, tutors, therapists, or any other member of your child’s “team.”
  • Keep communication open and ensure that everyone is on the same page and working towards the same common goals.
  • Attend meetings offered to parents and use school resources that are offered.
  • Understand teachers’ expectations – ask for a meeting with the teacher at the beginning of the year. Always start your meeting with something positive.
  • Make sure to “follow up”. This can be either in person, over the phone or by email.  This keeps the lines of communication open and is essential for follow up on anything that has been agreed upon in meetings. You can see this like a follow up appointment that you would make with your doctor. We don’t leave the doctors hoping for the best;  we are encouraged to make a follow up appointment ensuring that the plan the doctor has recommended is effective.

 

  1. Take care of you and ask for help

 

Self-care is one area that most parents often forget! It is a lot of work being a good advocate for our kids. As parents, we need to educate ourselves, be organized, prepare and attend meetings, maintain composure, while taking care of our family and busy working lives.  Below are some ways to maintain resilience when you hit roadblocks.

 

  • Stay positive – positive self-talk is powerful. Acknowledge small gains and build on those gains.

 

  • Go to meetings with a support person. You don’t have to do this alone. This person can take notes while you are conducting the meeting and may help with any questions that you may have forgotten.

 

  • Join a parent support group or talk with other parents who have kids with challenges – this can be both a relief and help. Be mindful that some parents might be ahead of you in the process and may provide you with emotional support and the essential resources and information.

 

  • Decoding Dyslexia is a wonderful network of parent-led grassroots movements across the country. These parents are concerned with improving access to educational interventions for students with dyslexia in the public education system.

 

  • Think to yourself, “baby steps.” Rome wasn’t built in a day! Change takes time, and people can often be resistant to change. Be patient.

 

  • Delegate as much as possible – this can help prevent physical and emotional burnout!

 

  • Practice self-compassion- At times, parents can be self-critical. We tend to look at what we need to do rather than what we have done. Be kind to yourself.  Look at what you are doing, what you have done. Little by little things will improve.

 

May your journey, to getting the tools that your child needs in order to learn, be a successful endeavor.  It will not be easy, but it will be worth it. Remember – our children are always watching.  As we advocate, we are modeling for our children how to be a “warrior.” We are modeling how to get what is needed and deserved in order to be positive contributing members of our society. One definition of the term warrior is “a person who shows great vigor or courage.” Be proud of being a courageous parent – a Dyslexia Warrior Parent.

 

Resources

Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) website

Disability Rights Wisconsin. 2008.   Advocacy tool kit Skills and strategies for effective self and peer advocacy . Retrieved from https://www.brainline.org/article/advocacy-toolkit-skills-and-strategies-effective-and-peer-advocacy

Morin, A. (n.d.). Advocating for your child with learning disabilities. Overcoming roadblocks. Retrieved from https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/partnering-with-childs-school/working-with-childs-teacher/10-ways-to-be-an-effective-advocate-for-your-child-at-school

Learning Ally. June 2016. Parent Webinar: Advocating basic rights for your child with dyslexia. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvlc8bCjFIs

 

Marcy

 

Marcy McIver has a Bachelor of Education in Special Education and a MSc in Brain-Based Learning with a major in Literacy and Reading. She has been teaching for 15 years and has spent the last three years providing remedial intervention to children with dyslexia. She is passionate about helping students with various learning differences, and teaching others how to better support this population using cognitive neuroscience to maximize motivation and learning.